Testing to See If Someone Is a Self Guider

Here are a collection of ways to see if someone is a Self Guider:

• If you try really hard to do things their way, and all they tell you is “Good job” or “I’m proud of you,” when you expect them to try things your way too, then you know they are not a Self Guider, but a Worker or Pretending Person.
• If you try really hard to impress them by extending their way into other areas of life and they get mad at you, then you know they are not a Self Guider.
• If you try really hard to think about them the way you wish they would think about you, and they seem distracted and unable to pay attention to you long enough to notice, then you know they are not a Self Guider.
• If you have never seen them talk or think about anything related to life and growth since you’ve known them, they will probably not know how to tell you when it’s safe for you to think on your own. You know they are not a Self Guider. Maybe they are a Worker or a Pretending Person.
• If you ask them why they do something, and they tell you that it's because everyone else does it, then they are not a Self Guider.
• If they seem unwilling or embarrassed to share the reasons they do things, then they might be a Pretending Person or a Worker.
• If they do share the reasons, but the reasons are more disappointing than you expected, and the action seems unlikely to make a more thriving environment, then they might be a Worker.
• If they do something the same way everyone else does and they don't like it, and do not plan on changing it, then they are not a Self Guider.
• If they do something the same way everyone else does and they don't like it but pretend to like it, then they are not a Self Guider – maybe a Pretending Person.



• If you try a new way, and it’s easy to see that it makes a more thriving environment than their way, and they are not interested in this new way at all, then they are probably not a Self Guider.
• If you try really hard to think how they want you to think, and only try to do good, but they still blame you for things that go wrong, then you know they are not a Self Guider. Perhaps a Pretending Person.
• If you are new to the world and they admit they do not know everything, and they don’t treat you like you are dumb when they explain it to you, then they might be a Self Guider!

Finding Out They Are a Self Guider

If you find out they are a Self Guider, now you have a very heavy responsibility on your shoulders. Many people in this world wish to have the experience of growing up with and learning from a Self Guider. After you learn what you can from them, others will want to know what you know. They may try to communicate it in unconventional ways. You know their goal is to do good in the world, so it’s your responsibility to try to work out what they require of you, to help them achieve their potential or undo any harm they might have caused.

Finding Out They Are Not a Self Guider

If you find out they are not a Self Guider, they will probably never tell you when it's safe for you to think and decide things for yourself. You must decide on your own when you are ready (if you find out they are a Pretending Person, or worse, then you may be better off thinking for yourself right away!).

You now know it’s not OK to try to spread their ways to other people. It’s not OK to put all your energy into imagining how the world would work if everyone did things according to one of their ways. It's also not OK to put a lot of extra thought into what their words mean, especially if their words are negative.

(It is recommended that you should assume that everyone you see is not a Self Guider.)

Now you know that if someone doesn’t bother explaining something to you, it's not because they don’t think you are a good enough person to deserve an explanation, but because they are not smart enough to know how to explain it! They are probably not able to tell you some things about the world and why they do things a particular way because they don’t know how to explain it – or they don’t even remember!

Sometimes Learners try experimenting with having the negative qualities of their caretakers for a couple of reasons:

1. They try to understand what their caretakers are dealing with and what they are thinking.
2. They try to see things from the perspective of people who have that disadvantage, in order to know how to work with them better.
3. They try to let their caretakers know that they are still greater, and they are free to improve themselves.

If you know someone is not a Self Guider, you now know it’s NOT OK to take on their limitations and negative qualities in order to communicate concepts like these with them. If you do it to let them know it's OK to treat you differently, in addition to not knowing how you wish to be treated, they probably won’t know why you have you taken their negative qualities, and they might not even realize you have taken their negative qualities! (Most caretakers don’t pay that close attention.)

Remember, you may want to rethink some ways you checkboxed as good:

• This way is good because a Self Guider does it and they can account for everything they do.
• This way is good because it will help me impress a Self Guider enough that they will explain more of this world to me, so I can better figure out how to do the most good.
• This way is good because a Self Guider does it, and it shows them I believe in them, so they will tell me how they discovered that it’s good.
• This way is good because if I do it enough, they will understand that the effects of their ways are actually bad and try things my way.
• This way is good for now, because it will help a Self Guider figure out that it’s actually bad, so they then become an Everything Knower, and then the world will be even better. These are all ones that you might want to rethink!