How a Learner Could Get Along With a Misguided Person

If they try to force you to act in a bad way, you should resist.

Sometimes, if they talk to you, they might try to do something that would make you forget the person you want to be or change you into someone else. They might use tricks, and say things like, “I used to feel the same way,” or ask, “Are you chicken?”

Examples: You: “Sorry, I don’t want to smoke a cigarette."

Them: "Oh, I used to say the same thing. Then I tried it and everything was better."

You: “Sorry, I don’t want to spy on people.”

Them: “Oh, what are you? Chicken?”

You: “Sorry, I don’t want to swim in that abandoned mine.”

Them: “Don’t you want to be Verse like a Self Guider? You gotta try everything once.”

You: “Sorry, I don't want to boss these little kids around and hit them if they misbehave.”

Them: “Don't worry; that's what they want you to do. They deserve it.”

You: “Wow, this wrench tool is really new to me. I better be very careful when handling it until I’m more confident with it.“

Them: “What are you? A baby? Ha ha.”

Perhaps a way to talk to them would be to say ways (or principles) that a Wise Leader, Self Guider, or Everything Knower would think are important and perhaps worth spreading, or even worth fighting for.

You: “Sorry, I don’t want to smoke a cigarette."

Misguided Person: "Oh, I used to say the same thing, then I tried it and everything was better."

You: “Hmm, that’s something to think about. OK, maybe I will try it when I’m ready, but that could take a long time.” (Probably never.)

You: “Sorry, I don’t want to spy on people.”

Them: “Oh, what are you? Chicken?”

You: “No, I just think people should not be seen if they don’t want to be.”

You: “Sorry, I don’t want to swim in that abandoned mine.”

Them: “Don’t you want to be Verse like a Self Guider? You gotta try everything once.”

You: “Yea, but if something goes wrong, I could die. I think people deserve to live.”

You: “Sorry, I don't want to boss these little kids around and hit them if they misbehave.”

Them: “Don't worry; that's what they want you to do. They deserve it.”

You: “I think people deserve to be free. Maybe I could get them to behave in a peaceful way.”

You: “Wow, this wrench tool is really new to me. I better be very careful when handling it until I’m more confident with it.“

Them: “What are you? A baby? Ha ha.”

You: “No, I just think people should get a chance to learn things at their own pace.”

Sometimes, you don’t even need to tell them a reason, you just have to think it and then tell them something like: “Naw, I don’t want to do that, sounds really boring. Think I’ll go do something else. Later.”

Sometimes, they act like they didn’t hear you, act like you said you agreed to do what they wanted, or try to tell you how easy it would be to do what they want. You may have to repeat yourself many times, saying something like, “Well, as I just told you,” then say what you said before, or tell them that your values are still the same since the last time they tried to convince you.

If they have been a Misguided Person for a long time, saying things like this might not work. You might have to say some things you learned in the chapter about how to get along with other Learners, in the section about what to do if you want to be left alone. Click here to go there. It covers options related to telling someone you want to be alone: negotiating with them, admitting your limits, telling them what kind of people you spend time with, threatening them, making fun of them, getting help, ignoring them, and using violence.

Spending a lot of time being cared for by a Misguided Person is unpleasant, to say the least. They hit, shout, call you names, use Care Control Reasons, and stare at you waiting until you do what they say. This can leave you confused and end up changing you into someone you don’t want to be. Some people might make an imaginary world inside their head to escape life with a Misguided Person – once they are on their own, they won’t be changed into another Misguided Person.

Sometimes, living in an imaginary world for so long can cause some problems, but may certainly be better than becoming another Misguided Person!

If you know that you live in a part of the world that recognizes a Misguided Person’s ways as bad, you should find someone else to care for you. You can ask a Worker for help (especially Workers whose job it is to care for young Learners). You can tell them what's happening and they will ask you questions, and maybe get you some help. In this world, it is currently not recognized as bad to be a Misguided Person.