Being Impelled by Others

Sometimes, people who have control of other people's time see that being naturally impelled works so well for getting people to do things, that they will invent their own ways to impel people to do what they want (sometimes called a punishment). If the person does what they want to avoid punishment, that person is being impelled by another. Examples of people trying to make other people do things: Yelling at someone when they are exploring a dangerous area (getting yelled at makes them uncomfortable, and they want the discomfort to go away, so they leave the area). Pinching someone who is accidentally stepping on your foot. Putting someone in jail for hurting others. Hitting a kid with a ruler for not paying attention.

Imagine you had to get some information to your caretaker that would help them do good, but it is hard or impossible for you to say to them at the moment. You might try to communicate it by impelling the other person. These are called Unconventional Ways To Communicate. If someone had the energy or the knowledge to tell you something, they would say “Ouch” if you stepped on their foot, and then you would know to stop. But what if someone didn’t know what to say, or couldn’t? If not, they might pinch you to let you know. Someone getting pinched is certainly better for the world than someone having a broken foot!

Sometimes, people use unconventional ways to communicate to tell someone that their ways are hurting them or their dear ones, or could hurt them in the future. They hope that it will cause them to rethink their ways. Things get out of hand when people broaden their use of unconventional ways to communicate with people other than the person causing them harm. Since there aren’t any Self Guiders or Everything Knowers in the world, it is extremely difficult to find out what really happened and how to help them.

Exercise: On another piece of paper, mark the Unconventional Way to Communicate whose message isn’t meant for a Learner like you, but for someone else.

1. Someone yells at you when you keep waving a spoonful of peanut butter in front of someone who is allergic to peanuts.
2. You find a dollar in front of a house and knock on the door to see if it's theirs. Someone yells, “I told you, I don’t have it! Now leave me alone!”
3. You see a sign outside someone’s house that says, “Due to recent robberies, there is a vicious dog that will attack anyone on sight!”
4. Someone is walking down the street waving their hat in front of your face, in a place where hats are against the rules.

If you are a leader, trying to make a Self Guider do something by impelling them won’t work. A Self Guider will always do something about it. They might first try to find out if there is a good reason they should do things that way, and then tell you how to say it. If that doesn’t work, they might go along with it until you figure out that it’s wrong for yourself. If that doesn’t work, they may try to resolve it with words and actions. If that also doesn’t work, they may even use force. Unlike Workers, Self Guiders would never accept people making them do something as just the way the world is. They are so good and can communicate so well, it's best that you just tell them why. They are either understanding why, fighting it, or planning on fighting it in the future. It’s never a waste of time to convince a Self Guider that a way they support is wrong. They would want to know. If you convince them, they will defy this way and defy whatever naturally impels them, or whoever forcefully impels them to support that way, right alongside you!

Exercise: On another piece of paper, put an X on the reason a Misguided Person wouldn't want to do something. Put a check next to the reason a Self Guider wouldn’t want to do something.

Would a Self Guider try to make other people do things? They certainly would not try to impel other Self Guiders, but it is unknown when a Self Guider would think it’s OK to make someone else do something.

Wise Leaders, Learners, and Workers could honestly tell you if they did or didn’t do something because someone was impelling them. They would say something like, “I’m doing it because my boss is forcing me to.” Everyone above them (Self Guiders and Everything Knowers) would not do something for that reason. Everyone below them (Pretending People, Misguided People, and Bad Guys) usually wouldn’t know how to say it and would try not to think about it or pretend they wanted to do that all along. If they do tell you, they might treat you like you are not smart because you didn’t know that.